The science of conversations
The most recent research findings from neuroscience have identified that communication is indeed much more than mere words.
The research identifies that when someone communicates in a matched or similar manner to the other person, their attention is unconsciously hooked. It becomes a mutual collaborative conversation. Their mirror neurons are in tune with our pattern of brain neuronal activity. There is a connection between the two parties. An influential connection.
Putting it another way if you successfully match the body language, voice tone and speech dimensions of the other person you’re likely to be connected engaged and quite influential with them.
Mirror neurons and the Influence Dimensions.
To our delight this confirms, from another perspective, the potency of our Influence Dimensions instrument.
Curiously this quality has been known to actors for hundreds of years and is itself called mirroring
Amy Cuddy in her book Presence, suggested that in the first few moments we seek to answer these two questions about the other person:
1 Can I trust them?
2 Are they competent?
And for being effective leader, trust is more important than competence although both are essential qualities for a leader.
Mirroring the neurons significantly builds trust at a conscious and unconscious level.
There are hundreds of leadership books densely packed with complex theories of leadership when inevitably, yet again, effective leadership behaviours are so fundamentally simple.
When the other person feels like you know them and value them and trust them, you communicate effectively with them.
When they don’t feel that you value them or that you are not genuine, no amount of leadership techniques will win them over.
Communicating so that we are taken seriously is a very individual and complex skill. Such skill requires Communication Mastery.
But perhaps you consider yourself a good communicator already.
Are you a master communicator?
Let’s see if you are a Master Communicator. Answer the following questions:
Be honest with yourself; this will give you a benchmark comparison when you reassess yourself at a future time.
- None of the time. 2. Some of the time. 3. A lot of the time. 4. All the time.
# I watch people closely when I talk with them. ________
# I put a lot of energy into my communication. ________
# I think about the best way to make myself understood. ________
# I pay attention to the speed of the person’s communication. ________
# I get a sense of the other person before raising my proposition. ________
# I use some of the way they see the world in my communication with them.
# I plan what I want to say before my meeting. ________
# I plan how I want to present my communication before the meeting.________
# I consciously adjust my presentation style according to the nature of the other person’s communication. ________
# I am comfortable with silence during my discussions. ________
# I feel good about myself when I am talking with others. ________
# I attempt to give the other person a sense of their worth when I talk to them. ________
# I am curious about the other person’s presentation. ________
# I am patient in my communication. ________
# Later on, I reflect back positively on my communications. ________
If you didn’t score above 55 you may need some mirroring help.
So polish up your mirror neurons and purchase your Influence Dimensions profile to assist you.